hello friends, it’s been such a long while. I’ve written and deleted so many posts since november, not knowing where to begin my blog again. much has happened (and not happened) but basically I shut down the computer, phone and tablet, along with myself, into order to focus on finding this almost forty something but still a girl inside. I came across this quote today by one of my most inspiring (and the f*cking coolest) yogi masters, sadie nardini. what a mah-jor light bulb moment. I missed you, hope you missed me too. I’m so ready to write again, please stick around for my ride.
I promise, this is not blog abandonment but I’ve been on a social media sabbatical. I cant seem to wrap my brain around, nor quite articulate the complete shit storm we have been dealing with over the past few months. here is the short of it….for some reason unknown and to which no one will take responsibility for, we have a massive mold outbreak in our home. we have dealt with everything from destruction, displacement and disappointment to theft and even threats. to say it’s been overwhelming is an understatement. I’m not at liberty to say much more but we do have a lawyer and lots of liqueur to find some solace in the situation.
I fully acknowledge the old sayings that it can be worse or that things can be replaced. and it is a little cleansing and therapeutic to purge some of the past. but there are the things I can never get back.. like the box of costume jewelry I inherited from ed’s beloved grandmother Elizabeth (izzi’s namesake), who was the most incredible, kind, liveliest of women. it contained nothing precious, in fact, much of it was broken pieces and buttons. but I cherished that box because for the seventeen years since she passed it still smelled like her perfume….and now it smells of musty mold. or my special collection of vintage clothing collected for twenty plus years, mostly from my maternal grandparents….gone. it’s someone’s gross negligence that has uprooted my family and caused a complete clusterf*ck.
for now, we are staying with my parents. the little birds are little troopers- they terribly miss their toys and room but they truly enjoy the quality time with noni and papa. for us, these things are definitely one of those ‘for better or for worse’ tests and my heart bursts with even more eternal love for him. while I am the emotional rollercoaster, he has taken on the brunt of the bull. and what’s funny is that we are sleeping in the same bedroom we were never allowed to go in as teenagers when we first met. we laugh because I never would have imagined twenty three years later we would be welcomed to the same room and share it with a three year old bed hog lol. needless to say, that laughter gets us through the darkest days. ed reminds me to look out the same window as I did when we were kids and still dream of all the beautiful things that will come true. outside it, I find a colourful playhouse and toys of the beautiful creatures we already have.
thank you to our family and friends for your love and support. thanks to all who follow our mad adventures with humor and loyalty. be back soon.
ps. a client recently told me about this song…. overwhelmed by tim mcmorris. I never believe in coincidence- it’s so poignant and pretty. I hope it inspires you too.
pps. please check out my pretty pregnant pal yanira’s mommy blogs over on babble.com. when I told her of my troubles she literally gave me the jewelry off her neck. she is sassy and stylish and so deservingly needs our support!
evan started preschool today. it was a smooth transition since he had his best bud shaun with him, as well as having spent the summer getting to know the same classroom and teacher at day camp. ironically, I did shed some tears. but it was for the little boy and his mom who couldn’t let each other go. we’ve all had that moment but it was so heartwarming to see the kids and parents all pitch in to comfort them. I even told her she could borrow emmett for the morning but I guess she thought I was joking. all kidding aside, I feel so grateful knowing our kids are learning and growing and safe in the same great community ed and I were both raised.
this is also the last week before my last year of being in my thirties begins. I have such mixed emotions of the huge milestone that is upon me. honestly, I’m a little scared at the notion of being a forty something. although I don’t exactly feel my age, the little things about being ‘mature’ are a little more apparent- like finding myself reading food labels more than fashion labels or considering a late night drowsily watching an episode of jungle gold at 10pm. on the flip side, there is also something sexy about coming into your own skin and embracing the life you’ve created. acknowledging you cant change the past, but accepting you certainly can change the future. I admit with full vanity to fight father time with all the tools necessary and cant wait to share it all with you.
this morning felt like Christmas day…..except without the cold, snow and tree. nonetheless, I woke up with the same excitement as a kid with a room full of gifts. for today starbucks quietly returned my beloved pumpkin spice latte. it officially comes out on september 4th, but recently I’ve been exposed to a whole new secret starbucks society. anyone who has met me more than once knows that I basically walk around with a starbucks iv. so I trust you, my quaint group of loyal followers, to this insider information. my dear friend tracy first told me about starbuckssecretmenu.net. there you will find a world of pure imagination, err well just some really f-ing cool drinks like the double dirty chai latte (a personal favorite), the fuzzy rabbit, caramel snickerdoodle macchiato as well as lots of other top secret info and lingo to schmooze your local store. who needs to join the pta when you have the cia (coffee intelligence agency) to share your inner most drink dreams, befriend a barista and get coupon codes galore. excuse me now so I can actually drink this peacefully before I am found by the little birds or the mental institute.
ps I dedicate this post to annie, an amazing mom, who loves pumpkin spice even more than me, cheers sweet cousin! also, I was not compensated for this post, but I should at least get a free latte lol!
today was a bittersweet day, izzi started first grade. we’ve come a long way from my post traumatic preschool post two years ago. we were much better organized- had time for a lovely french toast breakfast, didn’t forget anything, and I even got to brush my teeth. as I watched her walk away, proudly wearing the leopard hello kitty backpack she picked out and get on the bus, I would have cried but 1) my eyes are bone dry from the heat wave and 2) I had to now run down the street to chase after her little bother (no typo, bother not brother, as she calls him from olivia.)
I didn’t get to give her a proper post a few weeks back for her 6th birthday because her party kept getting postponed. there were a couple of spontaneous celebrations I still want to share but I just want to spoil on her for a moment…
I’m so incredibly proud of my sweet girl elizabeth, as now that she’s in first grade and grown up she prefers to be called. she was the first to make me a mother and know my purpose in life. as much as we like to teach her virtues, everyday she reminds us of compassion and wonder. she loves animals and art, fashion and her friends. she dreams of living in paris when she grows up. she definitely has my creativity and sensitivity but the confidence and patience of her daddy. no child is ever easy per say, but she’s as close as it gets. (especially with her gone all day and left home with my two crazy boys, it’s even more apparent lol.)
for my little bird izzi- mama loves you more than the moon & the stars. always dream and believe in yourself. you are beautiful and kind, funny and smart. the world is a better place with you in it.
happy 130th birthday to the ultimate fashion icon! coco chanel was classy and clever with a bit of crass, my kinda gal. let me count the ways I love her through a few of my favorite chanel quotes:
-a girl should be two things: classy & fabulous
-elegance is when the inside is as beautiful as the outside
-a woman with good shoes is never ugly
-in order to be irreplaceable, one must be always be different
-don’t spend time beating on a wall hoping it will transform into a door
-the best things in life are free. the second best are very expensive
-I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all
-you live but once, you might as well be amusing
there are so many, I could go one forever. but my always favorite quote…
how many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.
hope you are inspired. be back soon.
sorry it’s been quiet over here, as we’ve begun the quarantine of pre-fall flu bugs. lots of great things I want to share at the end of the week. but for now, this little bit from evan.
scene….monday night, bedtime
me- evan, I’m so proud of you, boo. you start school in a few weeks.
evan- no mama. I don’t want to go to school.
me- but why? it’s so exciting, you’ll make lots of new friends and learn new things.
evan- I’m not ready to leave home.
happy hump day!
I came to the realization that I have a food photography disorder. my family is cruelly subjected to a photo shoot prior to any meal, snack or dessert. my instagram consists of 99.5 % food. already being the third child, emmett will have no documented history of his childhood other than what he ate. Im a total amateur, but the bright side is a new ration of recipe posts.
this recipe for the best peanut butter brownies you’ll ever have is from one of my all time favorite blogs, a cup of jo. she is a super cool writer/keepin it real nyc mom that has an amazing food series called ‘the best you’ll ever have’. I officially lost track of all we have tried, but they absolutely live up to the name. these brownies were thick as fudge, better than a reeses, makes you never want to buy a box mix again, out of this world. we even froze the extra frosting for a rainy day. happy baking!
when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. but when your two year old spills lemonade on the floor during a tantrum and you slip on it, breaking your toe, you make back patio lemonade. (yes, true story. I’m ok. just praying to the strappy sandal gods that the nail doesn’t come off so I can wear my new ysl inspired 5 1/2″ stilettos, the ones that I have absolutely nowhere to wear.)
I found this fabulous recipe for front porch lemonade on a blog called bowen appetit. but I renamed it back patio lemonade, since….1- we don’t have a proper front porch 2- as an ode to my superhusband, who just beautified our back patio with these awesome cement paver molds I found on hsn and 3- I modified the recipe a pinch using what I had around the house. a perfect summer sipper to end a long day, or mend a broken toe.
back patio lemonade (adapted from front porch lemonade by bowen appetit)
1 1/2 oz lemonade*
3 oz bourbon
in a shaker filled with ice, add bourbon & lemonade. shake until well chilled. place large ice cubes and pour into two tall glasses (we did mason jars for a real southern comfort effect). top each with ginger ale & garnish with mint. cheers y’all!
*I made homemade lemonade earlier in the day for the little birds using this recipe from weelicious. finally found some stand worthy lemonade, and loving that it uses agave nectar for sweetness.